Never Mind The Bolex

Does It Hold Up?: Gleaming The Cube

I used to be obsessed with this movie when I was younger and while it is not available on DVD (at least at the time I looked) my hopes of recapturing the moments of awe as Christian Slater does indeed gleam that cube were fleating. How to remedy this? Oh, I know. To Hollywood Video, surely they’ll have the answer.

I noticed they were selling a ton of old VHS copies of films (picked up Sidekicks while I was there, we’ll see if that holds up in a future post) but alas, no Gleaming The Cube. So like any sane person might do I asked the cashier if I could just buy it off their shelves. The request was first met with a puzzled glance, then some typing on the keyboard.

Cashier: Ummm, yea I guess. (Click, Clack, Click) It says that no one has checked it out in like 4 years, so, you could probably have it for like 10 bucks.

Well that was that. So moving on to a group viewing of Gleaming The Cube alongside some chums. Did the film hold up? You’re fucking right it did. Old-school skate board tricks: Still awesome. Frustrated skating montages: Fantastic. Christian Slater’s dangly earring: Still dangling! Everything I remember loving about this movie was still there. Even Dean enjoyed it so there has to be something to it that proves it wasn’t just my nostalgia fueling my lust for it.

It might even be better now that we’re older because you can add the magic of the “movie drinking game”. I hate to be one of those people that suggest everything is better when its a drinking game because everything isn’t (driving for instance, not a fun drinking game in that), but in this case it comes very close to being better. Here are the rules we made:

1. Every time you see chest hair.
2. Every time there is skitching.
3. Whenever there is a frustrated skating montage
4. Whenever Christian Slater is brooding.
5. Every time a young Tony Hawk is on screen.
6. Whenever there is outdated skateboarder slang used.
7. Every time Christian Slater is up to a scheme.
8. And lastly, Every time Christian Slater is squinting when he delivers dialouge. (Just go ahead and hook an IV of liquor to your veins. I don’t want to ruin anything for you but he does this throughout the entire film)

So that’s all. Gleaming The Cube definitely holds up. If you haven’t seen it yet I highly suggest you do and go buy that bannana board you’ve been bugging your parents for. They just don’t get you. I HATE YOU I’LL NEVER BE ANYTHING LIKE YOU DAD!