Never Mind The Bolex

The Pen

ELAINE: Why is it so hot in here? How can they sleep like this?

JERRY: It’s only for three days. Today’s over and we have tommorow. We leave on Sunday. It’s one day, really.

ELAINE: Oh man. What is with this bar? It’s right in my back. It’s killing me.

JERRY: Oh you wanna switch? I’m sleeping on a love seat. I’ve got my feet up in the air like I’m in a space capsule.

ELAINE: I am never gonna fall asleep.

JERRY: Oh, don’t say that. You’ll jinx me.

ELAINE: How can they not put the air conditioning on?

JERRY: They’re nuts with temperature.

ELAINE: This bar is right in my back! It’s making a dent.

JERRY: How about that guy writing a check for 19.45?

ELAINE: I’m sweating here. I’m in bed, sweating.

JERRY: It’s one day. Half a day, really. I mean you substract showers and meals, it’s like twenty minutes. It will go by like that. (snapping his fingers)

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“You have lost a lot of hair since then”

“I’M AWARE!”

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[George, in his mind]: “I think that ginger ale at the coffee shop is just Coke
and Sprite mixed together. How can I prove it? Ah! Can’t, dammit.

Seinfeld, “The Strongbox”

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Jerry: I can’t give details.

George: No details?

Jerry: I’m not in the mood.

George: You ask me to have lunch, tell me you slept with Elaine, and then say you’re not in the mood for details. Now you listen to me. I want details and I want them right now. I don’t have a job, I have no place to go. You’re not in the mood? Well you get in the mood!

…

George: Boy, these are really bad details.

Jerry: It pains me to say this, but I may be getting too mature for details.

George: Oh I hate to hear this. That kind of growth really irritates me.

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seinfeld:

Kramer: See the hard part is to find the pasta that captures the individual.

Jerry: Why fusilli?

Kramer: Because you’re silly

Jerry: When did you do this?

Kramer: In my spare time. [turns to George]. You know, I’m working on one

of you, George. I’m using ravioli. See, the hard part is to find a pasta

that captures the individual.

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“Serenity Now”.

Seinfeld recut as a thriller.

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Mark this down as impressions I’ve been doing for the last 3 months and still laughing about: Jerry as “Raif”

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“You sold us a hair with a cake around it. I’d like another one”

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Larry David playing George on Curb Your Enthusiasm.

hoHO!

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George trailer

Seinfeld recut to give George Costanza a whole new story. Pretty, pretty well done.

Thanks to Michaelia for sending me this.

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Season 9, Episode 3: The Serenity Now

George: Dad, what’s all this?

Estelle: (From other room) It’s junk.

Frank: My computers. I’ve been selling them for two months now. Shut up!

George: You’re selling computers?

Frank: Two months ago, I saw a provocative movie on cable TV. It was called The Net, with that girl from the bus. I did a little reading, and I realize, it wasn’t that farfetched.

Goddamn I love that line. Makes me laugh every time.

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